Dreams

The Imaginarium of Professor Seigworth Gilbert B. Rodman If we were to collect these small moments in a notebook and save them over a period of months we would see certain trends emerge from our collection—certain voices would emerge that have been trying to speak through us. We would realize that we have been having another life altogether; one we didn’t even know was going on inside us. And maybe this other life is more important than the one we think of as being real—this clunky day­to­-day world of furniture and noise and metal. So just maybe it is these small silent moments which are the true story-making events of our lives. ­­ Douglas Coupland, Life After God My “Wreck The Format” proposal is to produce an embodied performance of Coupland’s “theory of moments” that will run throughout the conference. The “small moments” I have gathered consist of 120+ dreams that Greg Seigworth has posted to Facebook since 2007. For the 3+ days of the conference, I will recite random selections from Seigworth’s dreams in as many different conference spaces/events as is feasible: in the hallways, at the registration table, during Q&A sessions, over meals, as a supplement to conference announcements, etc. In so doing, I hope both to present an example of “another [hidden] life” of a key figure in affect theory, and to create a series of “small [not-­entirely-­]silent moments” that might give the conference its own alternate life. May 22, 2015 at 2:50am Plenary dreams #2. I dreamed that I returned to Lisa and Isabel's garden shed to change back into my other clothes and out of my red glittery dress (I was also wearing a woolen ski hat). But no dice on the clothes (they'd gone missing). Later in a fit of unrelated frustration I punched Lisa's friend from Screen in the mouth. ps. I am pretty sure Lisa and Isabel don't have a garden shed. pps. Yes, I rocked that dress. May 9, 2015 at 9:48am I just remembered this little bit of a dream from last night where Stevphen Shukaitis and I were among the ice cream vendors at a children's summer camp. We had uniforms and rode unicycles (or skateboards) and we each had our own sound-system (Stevphen got us all in trouble by insisting on playing Laibach through his). I spent most of my spare time trying to get a plane ticket the hell outta there. May 7, 2015 at 1:51am Awakened from a dream where me and my entire soccer team traveled by ship to play in Nicaragua. p.s. I don't play on a soccer team. pps I have never even watched soccer. I don't know the rules (are there any?) ppps If the Pirates keep playing so poorly, I might start.... pppps The dream was mostly about docking the ship. ppppps I blame John M. Sloop. Mostly. But he was not in the dream. March 25, 2015 I dreamt that I showed Kanye West my ant farm (at his request). He was so delighted. (p.s. I don't have an ant farm.) March 18, 2015 I dreamed about mom. She would be celebrating her 76th birthday next week. In the dream, we were walking (her too! slowly and unsteadily) up the hill to Popetown Road, just talking away about nothing and everything. As we turned at the Seigworth Road Supply sign, Dad was there (waiting?) and, as we were saying goodbye, I remarked on how she was looking pretty fit (she was dressed in a late 70's-early 80's style blouse/pants). She touched my face and said something that I can't remember except it was affirmative & unremarkably perfect. March 7, 2015 D-List Celebrity Dream #5298. Al Roker on the Today Show is interviewing a big life-sized rubber ape with a face made of surgical implements (the mouth is a kidney shaped pan). The ape is animatronic: jumpy rubber tubes (extending upward out of the camera shot) control the ape's movements through variations in air and water pressure. As Roker interviews the ape about anatomy, the ape drops his pants and, instead of zooming in (or out), the camera suddenly pans left (briefly revealing Dionne Warwick and Jack White [and perhaps more people] looking on from the background) to a oversized animatronic version of its genitalia... which begin to talk, and suddenly sprouts rubbery pubic hair (like spaghetti through one of those play-doh makers). Al Roker starts laughing so uncontrollably that Matt Lauer steps in to continue the interview. But Roker is chortling so loud that he wakes me up. March 4, 2015 I dreamt that I was teaching 'TV directing' in a big auditorium in the Ukraine. Young Russian army soldiers were off to one side, dressed in camouflage but wearing t-shirts with slogans. Vague air of boyish violence. I approached their leader; he was the only one seated (in the back of the auditorium) and wearing a big red- checkered parka with its fur-lined hoodie up. I asked if he wanted to be on our show as a 'host' or a 'guest' perhaps. He said 'guest' and was clearly delighted. At some point soon after ... I remembered that I have not taught TV directing in a few years, and woke up. February 11, 2015 I had a dream that Kendall and I were in a very crowded co-ed locker room getting ready to play in a charity basketball game. I had forgotten to pack any gym shorts but K had an extra pair for sleeping that she said were very baggy on her, might work for me. I went into a bathroom to change -- a very very long bathroom -- and, indeed, although K is only about half my size, the shorts were also baggy on me. But looked pretty stylish - I must say. Somehow I lost track of time ...and, when I stepped outside the bathroom, the locker room was empty except for K. Everyone was already out on the court. The Ghostdog was fuming. Isabel and Lisa were going to be so disappointed in me, I remember thinking (they were playing too, I guess). Hustling out of the locker room with K, we passed Bill Dorman who was holding a plate with a blackened spikey dragon fish on it, and he said that he was going to complain that this was the worst concession food ever. "Tasted like an old tambourine," he said. Later in the dream, I wrote about this whole experience and I recall typing: "I ordered a high ball and let it drop unceremoniously at my feet. Then I went home." January 20, 2015 Dreamt it was the first day of classes and I had somehow failed to notice that I was teaching two classes that met simultaneously and on different floors of the building. I was running from room to room as kids streamed in, trying to explain that there had been a mistake, but I'd work it out. Suddenly I was on a hydrofoil speeding across the water away from school and I kept asking folks on board when we'd be back because my classes were underway and no one knew so I tried to call the department secretary but I couldn't find my cellphone and, when I did find it, I couldn't remember the area code. I woke up and remembered that I am still on sabbatical (with so much to do!). Anyway, happy first day back at MU, suckers! December 29, 2014 Dreamt that I was a roadie for an all -Arcade Fire cover band, and that during the concert's first song faux-'Will Butler'-in-goldface accidentally dropped his wireless microphone alongside the stage and into my dirty laundry. The show never recovered from that moment. I awoke in a sweat. November 25, 2014 I dreamt that the Ghostdog and I were constructing this huge compound for a future cult (I think). I could not find a proper place to shelve all my books (that was my biggest concern, along with the rusty 3rd refrigerator and the fact that the place was partly constructed from truck cabins). There was a big dinner meeting around a long table and I grew very angry that most of you had not finished the readings. I finally decided that the only person who could speak with any legitimacy was Courtney Love. This cult is already doomed. October 18, 2014 I dreamt that I was driving along a wide gravel road on the way to campus when I noticed Carrie Lee Smith in front of me on a motorized razor scooter. She veered off to go in to a thrift store (that I'd never noticed before) and I kept on going. But then I noticed the time (3:16) and knew that she'd be late for classes so I u-turned and went into the store. It was pretty bare. The owner was dressed for Halloween and had painted his face red to be 'Mephistopheles' (he said). ...Carrie was holding a big white plastic turtle (that looked more like a starfish to be honest) and she said to me 'You know I've got to have this.' But soon she saw something else and changed her mind. I wandered around the store for a bit. Mephistopheles tried to sell me old record covers with no vinyl record inside. There was a tabloid with a headline that read Snoop Dogg was changing his name to 'Iguana the Hero' and Dick Cheney was on the TV saying something about how we turn to philosophy in times of culture- wide resentment and terror. I don't think Carrie made it to class on time and I am, after all, on sabbatical. August 10, 2014 Conference dream #2,172. Last night I dreamed that Fidel Castro commandeered all of the available bandwidth on the internet for hours and hours in order to work out a trade arrangement with Russia that would help them deal with current economic sanctions. I was so mad at Castro. I was trying to register for a conference and their website was down. Then, in my dream, I remember thinking: this is absurd, Castro is dead. But a quick google confirms that he is not. #geopoliticalunconscious August 17, 2014 Dreamt that MU philosophy prof Chuck Ward (not on FB) was skyping in for a class of mine. The class was in a big old-fashioned library room with a screen -- where Chuck was appearing -- on a shelf between rows & rows of books. Mid-lecture Chuck totally blanked on a word. I shouted a few words as suggestions and then began looking through the books furiously. Finally, it came to me: 'ressentiment' I shouted. But Chuck couldn't hear me. So, I shouted it a bunch -- 'ressentiment! ressentiment! ressentiment!' And then Chuck (who still hadn't heard me) said: "oh ressentiment" and I replied, in a tone of some frustration, 'that's what I said' but Chuck just picked up where he left off and continued on. July 13, 2014 I dreamt that I was at a Deleuze conference and on the car ride home we (five guys: I was in the back seat with two others and some completely pompous Deleuzian dude was driving -- I have a vague recollection of who it was but not sayin') stopped at this sloped overlook of the Mississippi River in St. Louis. We were going to take photos but the car started to slide down the embankment. Instead of jumping from the car, the Deleuzian dude- driver said he could keep us out of the...river but soon we were in it and the car was bouncing around in the waves. I said "That's it. I am a terrible swimmer. I'm bailing.' And I turned to Andrew Garfield (of Spiderman, The Social Network, etc) and told him that he'd better come too (if only to potentially save me). We got to shore and then lifted the car out with our bare hands, because the car was now a chair and then we attached these magnetic spring-flex leg thingies to the bottom of the chair and watched it spider-crawl itself back up the slope to the top of the ridge. All I can think now is some variation of that old 'lawyer' joke - Q: what do you call five Deleuzians in a car that's sunk to the bottom of the Mississippi? A: a good start. March 5, 2014 I dreamed that the snow was all gone and that the ants had come. It was a beautiful dream. February 8, 2014 Nightmare #439: A half-hour before convocation, our MU President stops by my lunch table and asks about the PowerPoint presentation that I've been tasked to do and tells me that I'm first on the agenda. I tell him that i don't do PowerPoint but I will have handouts. "Handouts?" he says. Meanwhile I have no recollection of this task whatsoever. The President departs and I turn to my assistant Regina DeGaetano and tell her that we have to run and find my laptop so I can check all through those university emails that I generally delete without reading. We run through MU's subterranean tunnels (yeah what?) and end up (somehow after passing through an impossibly long men's locker room) outside my high school gymnasium. I find my laptop but lose Regina (I don't blame her for ditching), but now I cannot remember my password to anything. So, I stop by a classroom where Kendall is supposed to present her award-winning speech on diversity in America. Her name is on the board but she never shows up so the teacher turns on a strobe light and people begin to dance. I am seated in the back of the classroom beside the Ghostdog when the MU President's assistant comes in and tells me that she has never seen the Prez so steamed. "How could you stand him up like that?" I am so ashamed, so confused. She continues: "His jazz band was going to play too. Now he has cancelled the whole event, and money -- $3.1 million -- that was going to go to faculty research and travel in the humanities is now all going to the sciences." I shout at her 'This has to be a bad dream!' and wake up. January 8, 2014 Weird c-grade celebrity dream #2712: The Ghostdog and I somehow provoke a fight between Christina Aguilera and 50 Cent backstage at a charity event (over whether Christina can sing a Dolly Parton song). For some reason Christina slaps 50 (who is really just an innocent bystander) and, in response, he proposes a creative writing competition that is actually some kind of sting operation (in a pet grooming salon) to bust Christina. Sadly, Dolly Parton never appears in the dream. November 28, 2013 Last night's dinner: fish & chips. Last night's Netflix: 'Frances Ha.' Last night's conference dream (and, yes, I have waaay more conference dreams than anyone should): Greg Wise and I are seated with a group of 20 or so at a long dinner table in some huge hall rather far away from the conference site. Mostly everyone is dressed in white for some reason. I've spread my graded exams and papers across the table and remark that for the first time in 20+ years a couple of students have challenged my grades of their work (this is not true although one student did come to see me about her speech grade this term). Andrew Herman is seated beside Noam Chomsky, and Noam asks me a question about the source of one of my exam questions (it is on digital property rights management). I give Noam the name and he writes it down on his napkin. Suddenly everyone is clearing out pretty fast. We have to get back to the conference for the keynote (someone that I have never heard of). I am gathering my papers and exams, and Greg W grabs me by the shoulder all angry (typical Greg W, yes - ha!) and says we gotta run we are going to miss the shuttle bus back. We get outside and Greg takes off like an arrow across this grass slope. But the bus is pulling away, then he sees another in the distance. I am running to catch up. I notice that I am barefoot. We make it to the second bus just in time. I somehow get there before Greg W who is shooting me dagger stares, ouch. We board and I find a seat for us in the back of the bus, but there are all these tiny seats facing away from us and they are filled with little leaguers in uniform, and I realized that this is the wrong kind of bus. I turn to look in Greg's direction and ... I wake up. The end. October 2, 2013 #9 Obvious dream -- I'm in our new kitchen teaching a news writing class how to write a decent lead for a story about the Pirates in postseason. The students are just milling around, distracted, and giving dumb responses. Dismayed, I finally give them the right words. Soon the class morphs into some kind of housewarming party/faculty meeting and Stan Denski shows up with a record album, a bottle of wine and a weird little two- pronged electrode thingy that he presses against the glass front of the stove door to charge. He is going to use corncob holder-looking device to prove that the other Stan Denski is a cyborg imposter and he is right. August 18, 2013 In my dream I was running across a sand dunes obstacle course just infront of George Bush (Sr) and his security detail. Ended up on a ledge of a fancy tea shoppe, knocking tiny pillows off the edge as a TV news crew did a sarcastic sign-off and I found a secret brass key that impressed no one (least of all the tea shoppe owner who took it back with a sigh). Dad's couch is not as comfy for sleeping as it appears: the moral to this story (or not). July 17, 2013 Dreamt that I was at a conference in Turkey in some huge covered plaza. Most distinct moments were: a performance piece by a grad student that involved her reading theory quotes and pouring wine all over a conference table while Jason Wilson (with the voice of Jon Pheloung) sang/rapped Steve Earle's 'Jerusalem' as food was passed and wine-washed (I held a bowl of water cress), the Ghostdog and I walked with Mehdi Semati who turned into Rob Spicer midpoint somehow, and Kendall was jetlagged in the room. I remember saying that there were 'too many Deleuzians' and the Ghostdog said she heard one good presentation but was even more enamored of the giant smoked Turkish beef stick that she was lugging around. June 30, 2013 I dreamt that, in my theories class, we abandoned lecture notes and student papers for an exchange of cakes, carefully composed cakes. June 15, 2013 Had a dream that I lost my iPhone. Realized about 10 am that indeed I'd lost my iPhone. Searched and searched and even called Le Sorelle (site of yesterday's asparagus poached egg thingy). No luck. Searched some more. Tried the 'find iPhone' app through iCloud. It pinpointed the phone outside in the driveway. It had fallen out of my pocket and alongside the driver's side door. Despite the Ghostdog telling me then that this was a 'perfectly obvious place' and I should have found it myself... I'm momentarily singing the praises of the iCloud compass. June 1, 2013 The last thing that I remember someone saying in my dream was "And 'toma' is the name for light reflected upon a gorilla's back." April 17, 2013 I just awoke from a dream where I worked at a cat turd recycling factory. ("Recycled as what?" you ask. I dunno.) But everyone got to wear futuristic headgear whilst scraping cat litter from cat turds so it wasn't all bad. Melissa Gregg (untaggable?) worked there too, alongside some present / past students. This is my fault for stirring at 3 am, reading MG's new blog post with its link to her review of books by Cvetkovich, Berlant, & Ahmed, and then falling back asleep. Now I must take one seriously scalding shower, and get ready for another day at the cat turd factory, urr, MU (or as the kitty says 'meeyou'). P.S. I also apparently have some unresolved issues about my level of contribution toward cat box maintenance around here. April 11, 2013 I cannot remember any specific dream contents but the last sentence that I spoke was: "Being a ballet dancer of course you understand what I mean." March 15, 2013 I dreamt that I was writing a paper on the gestures and non-verbal stylings of Wolf Blitzer. It was not going well. January 11, 2013 I dreamt that once a year the entirety of the world's war dead were buried in a extravagant funeral procession that stretched hundreds of miles and it was all broadcast live. Except the US made certain nations' dead invisible in the live feed of the event so I went to see it in person, and the dead and their stream of mourners were still invisible (which made it also very dangerous because you could get crushed by their invisible procession anyway). I retreated to a cabin and Pat Boone kept knocking on my door and asking me for directions to a good place to eat. And every time I answered the door there were more and more tanned and smiling Christians standing alongside him. December 28, 2012 I dreamt that I traveled to Berlin in order to sauté John Cage poems in garlic and onions as certification for ___________ (I can't recall). December 12, 2012 Dreamt of the zombie apocalypse. Srsly. Turns out it involves leaping across tall heaps of furniture a lot and living very far above the ground/floor, also Steven Shaviro is the key to survival somehow (which probably means I should not fall asleep too soon after eating smoked baloney and blueberry morning crunch and speed- reading Galloway/OOO brain-festerings). December 5, 2012 Inescapably behind in school work = recurring anxiety dream. In a London hotel room (more like an old 'sick children's ward' with single beds in row after row). It is close to my airport departure time, but I am still in this room w/ all kinds of folks scurrying about (last night it was all my Aussie friends -- damn you recent CSAA photos posted). I cannot find my return ticket or actual departure times (paper ticket? who uses those?), and last night I kept filling my oversized travel bag with mining equipment (pick axes, shovels, etc). No way I was making my plane on time, no way. And Anna Catherine Hickey-Moody told me it was going to cost 3x more for a new ticket. November 15, 2012 Three dreams: #1 - I tamed an opossum and taught it how to speak + #2 - I showed my class a brand-new Miranda July film and they liked it but we ran out of time [and I had to make up the ending] + #3 - a talk with mom (mostly about how she was alive) = me taking a personal day on Friday. November 9, 2012 I dreamt that Dean Diane Umble suddenly asked me to introduce a visiting dignitary from the Obama re-election team (she said I knew the guy) at some swanky reception in the new visual and performing arts center. Diane didn't notice (somehow) that I was dressed in green plaid jammy pants and a long sleeved tee. I borrowed Mike Johnstone's cellphone, found a tiny cluttered closet-y room around the corner and tried calling home for J to bring me a suit (I had twenty minutes before the intro). But Mike's phone had the #1 located in a weird place and I kept misdialing. When I finally got the number dialed, J answered and was very understanding but conveyed no sense of urgency ... October 16, 2012 I dreamt that almost everything was made of wood, and J and I were in an indie record store trying to locate Christian rock records for a student (who bailed on us once we found them), and Paul Newman was showing us his house but his dog got out and we could live there for free but we'd have to tutor his two kids (one boy, one girl and the girl was dressed as a bird) and they ran off to a park across the street where they encountered a half-naked guy making strange noises and then I was shampooing my hair in Newman's kitchen sink ... and that's all I remember. September 23, 2012 I dreamt that Kendall turned down a basketball scholarship to UCLA on ESPN. I got to shake hands with Shawn Kemp, and admit that I don't really follow basketball much at all. September 15, 2012 Pecan pie before bed means that I dreamt that the two remaining Beastie Boys stopped by one of my classes to teach me an elaborate handshake routine. I have forgotten it already. Dang. But radio show (so soon) WIXQ 10- noon EST. August 25, 2012 Two unrelated (I think) phrases from last night's dreams: "That ad will paper over a lot of scars" and "The Republicans whipped up too much froth." August 4, 2012 I dreamt that I invited Terry Madonna out for a drink to tell him about my whole theory of how Mittens swerves at the last minute from Rob Portman to choose Mike Huckabee as his running mate. Weirdly, the dream was mostly about losing Terry on the way to the outdoor restaurant/bar, and then finding him in a cool, shady spot on a corner stool ... and talking about our kids, and picking food off other people's plates... July 16, 2012 I dreamt about PowerPointing at a conference (again). This time Ben Highmore (a la Greg Wise) tried to fix it before I started. He found some other collection of slides that was better, and I made up a fiercely good paper on the spot. This will never happen. June 8, 2012 I hate the dream where I am driving down the steep mountain road and I can see that the bridge at the bottom is under the flood waters and my own car is starting to get pulled into the torrents... dammit it is my first day of 'summer vacation', what gives? May 23, 2012 Why do I dream about celebrities? Last night: Mariah Carey (with short blonde hair, and she was spinning a prize wheel), Perfume Genius (I was trying to get his music to play on some old piece of machinery while he was holding a meeting in a secret room at the library), and Ken Wark (celebrity?! in my world he is... together we were looking through old 45s and new conference papers). May 12, 2012 In my dream I was visiting an Amish farm with J & K. We were loading root vegetables onto the tailgate of a pick- up truck. My dad stopped by and asked to hear how my remix of that Bad Brains single was shaping up. I accidentally pushed the button for Nada Surf. Dad had to escape on a bus back to the city because of the elephant/rabbit attack. Everything from knees down was covered in mud. (There is more, but ...) May 11, 2012 I dreamed that I was marking students' final essays. Boring boring dreams. But that counts, right? (Except I don't seem to have recorded the points anywhere.) April 6, 2012 I dreamed that I arrived at the conference room (I have a lot of academic conference dreams -- weird) to find my two co-panelists Stan and Debbie decked out in shiny new outfits from their corporate sponsor Slim Jims. Seriously. April 2, 2012 Dreamt that no matter how much I rinsed and rinsed, the shampoo would not leave my hair. Not sure what that means. March 13, 2012 I knew almost immediately in my dream that it was a mistake to invite Wolf Blitzer along on my stagecoach. February 12, 2012 I dreamt that I was in Montreal visiting Erin and Brian ... at an upscale art gallery/tattoo/piercing place they'd opened. Brian's speciality was press-on beards and mustaches (made from hair harvested from elsewhere on your body) and Erin made elaborate marbled crucifixes that doubled as tea stirrers. I was reluctantly considering a handlebar mustache and lambchop sideburns as I stirred my hot tea with the cross. January 22, 2012 damn dogs in my bed awoke me from a dream wherein I'd just received a informal, handwritten memo from my university that asked me to change my hand-clapping style which they deemed as 'fey' (though the word was misspelled as 'feh') January 7, 2012 Awakened from a dream where J and I were in a play-production performed at the Wentlings Corners community hall. It was late evening and there were two beds on stage, and the lights kept going out (on purpose). And K was smaller (but not younger?) and in one of the beds. I was in the other bed, eating a sandwich of rye bread, mashed potatoes, and bacon. J was off-stage but speaking loudly. We had a three dogs and they stole my sandwich (I wasn't sure that this was planned). J's favorite part of this dream: the 3rd dog. November 30, 2011 Um, one of my weirder dreams: my pal Michael Gardiner and I went to our 50-year old prostate screening together (w/ his Rita and my J along as a double date). Also 50 this year: Ben Highmore, Rob Shields, and McKenzie Wark. Boys and prostates and 1961 and philosophies of the everyday... a situationist generation of sorts. August 31, 2011 3:30 am. Trying to fall back asleep on my parents' sofa. Not what I planned. My mother has been fighting a brave and dignified fight against ill health for a long long time and ... I am awake from a stupid obvious dream (some fragment of an old Flaming Lips song looping, some superman, unable to fly). Least favorite status update ever. August 16, 2011 I dreamt that I was at a theatre shooting a live video essay called 'Been There, Done That: Psychoanalysis & Cinema.' Narrated by a talking pig with subtitles and three footnotes (Breton, Freud, 'Although...'). Um, I had a french toast bagel with ham for supper. This is all too on-the-nose. August 6, 2011 I dreamed that I was reheating a burrito at the back of a large auditorium when Joey Ramone walked up, gestured in my direction and I heard him say my name in a familiar way. (Yes, I know Joey Ramone is dead, but not in dreams.) July 15, 2011 I dreamt I was driving a large pickup truck and that I drove it through a farmer's fence when the brakes failed. Suddenly it took off on its own, and entered a monster truck road rally. All of J's screaming from the passenger seat was really no help at all. July 1, 2011 I dreamt that we saw a drag Amy Winehouse perform at a kids' pet corral in Lancaster. Crazed old men kept chasing her around as she sang. J & K were there but also changed into George & Kris on occasion. The drag AW sometimes turned into a child in a gorilla suit with a video projection face. My dad was chaperoning for some reason. (I blame Bjork, yogurt, Kendall's driving, and an exploding car wash.) March 30, 2011 I dreamt that I was a member of a home remodeling crew. I seemed to be in charge of adjusting caster wheels on rolling room dividers, bringing the jello, and fretting over how much work was accomplished. When it comes to home remodeling, yes, I can bring the jello like it's nobody's business. March 7, 2011 recurring dream #32: I am trying to cue up a video at a conference, but everything I do seems to end up anywhere else but the spot where I want to be. Instead of walking in the dream, I slide everywhere on my belly (like a snake). But everyone is patient with me (at least in last night's dream). February 8, 2011 dream: I am teaching a seminar somewhere in England with Melissa Gregg and Nigel Thrift (although the site looks suspiciously like Lancaster's Central Market). On the last day, the administrators pull up my vitae and my student loan repayment history and decide I am unqualified. Untrue! Still they insist that I can only be paid in bowties. February 4, 2011 had the same dream as everyone else, that I had the hair of Troy Polamalu. January 29, 2011 recurring dream: I'm in a long hallway connecting anonymous houses and apartments. When the hallway ends, I am in spare overflow rooms, basement rumpus spaces, uninhabited rooms full of stuff. And there are doors but they only lead back out into more hallway, no backtracking. Anxious: I'm going to be found in a place I never intended to be. Of course, I can't escape the feeling that it's all connected to ... writing. January 12, 2011 fell asleep twice in the midst of the opening chapter of Clay Shirky's godawful, dopey 'Cognitive Surplus' book. First time I was pointing to door #234 (whatever/wherever that is) and the second time I was panning for fish. Both of these dream-moments were better than the words on the page. November 17, 2010 dreamt I was lying on the floor at a department store eavesdropping as child-size mannequins talked about altruism. November 16, 2010 dreamt of differential calculus and that I was standing in front of newly elected Senator Pat Toomey's house. Imagine the possibilities. November 9, 2010 dreamt of chocolate-covered lemon wedges, and a weird thesis defense in Canada where Scott Schaffer's long curly hair (what?) kept getting stuck in my teeth whenever he leaned back in his chair, and he also made some remark about theory not being real or material or some such. And then they couldn't pull us apart. October 23, 2010 has a sore lower back and dreamt of Fred Jameson & the Hegelian dialectic. Again. Pretty sure that both of these things are connected. September 27, 2010 dreamt of standing in line at a crafts store with Meiji Mo who was holding two boxes of miniatures (little furniture, little animals, little food). And I said: 'Do these help or impede the writing process?' She replied: 'No connection. These are an end unto themselves. But sometimes a spark can leap.' And as MM sat the boxes on the counter, they turned into essays. September 23, 2010 had an anxiety dream about students asking after some concept from Kenneth Burke that so far as I know doesn't exist. Thankfully, comm theory moves on to James Carey on Friday. August 31, 2010 dreamt that I moved my home library outside under a shade tree in tall rows of wooden shelves. And I lent a student my 'Bibby' book and they lost it. And I said, Oh no! "If you lost my Bibby book, I will effing kill you.' (I don't know what a Bibby book is, but don't ask to borrow it.) August 28, 2010 dreamt that it was 1984 and I was helping REM pick out curtains for the outside of their 'Reckoning' tour van. Manager Bertis Downs did not think it was a particularly good idea. August 18, 2010 's unconscious, as it turns out, harbors several unhealthy stereotypes about West Virginia. Apologies to the Mountain State for last night's dream of teaching trauma, police misconduct, haphazardly stocked grocery stores, and car theft. But very vivid. August 15, 2010 dreamt that Darla Williams lived just down the street from us. I was shoveling ice off of her sidewalk, and, granted, it was a ceramic/concrete circular, buried-half-underground house but dang. August 10, 2010 dreamt that my Colbert 'wrist strong' rubber bracelet somehow tore and fell off. August 5, 2010 dreamt that I couldn't cue the disc [what disc?] to the short section on the rise of female auctioneers in Nigeria and the large lecture class grew restless after twenty minutes of shuttling. So, I finally asked Bill Clinton (who was sitting in the back of the room with a small delegation & security detail) to jump in and say a few quick words as I continued to cue. July 18, 2010 dreamt that I was holding Johnny Cash's mandolin while he went to get a drink. The tuning pegs kept falling off and when I put them back on the mandolin kept getting further out of tune. I was in crisis trying to figure out whether or not to tell him when he got back. And then I woke up. Sorry if 'RIng of Fire' sounded lousy though. May 19, 2010 has one major recurring dream: packing stuff to catch a plane, and not being able to find my ticket or remember the time for departure or everything is scattered everywhere or, well, I just am not going to make it on time. Blerg. This dream is so 1980s... pre-laptop, pre-e-ticket and pre-everyday internet... catch up brain! May 8, 2010 had another dream where Jacques Lacan figured in. Why? I haven't read a thing by Lacan since the early 90s. But my bookshelf of psychology & psychoanalysis is closest to the bed, hmmm, just above the shelf of Bergson, Whitehead, Dewey, Mead, James etc (why can't I dream about them?) April 28, 2010 dreamt that the President of our university handed me the book 'Figuring Lacan' and asked me to explain the word 'varnia' in one particular footnote, all during a ceremony for those awarded promotion (relatedly, congrats to Greg Wise). March 27, 2010 dreamt about attending a lecture entitled 'Heidegger's self-loathing.' The talk and questions afterward were split between English and German. And I hated myself (on a couple of different levels). P.S. No radio show today. Errands instead. March 23, 2010 is juggling summer times and schedules. Dreamt that I ran a stop sign in front of a funeral home. These things are/are not connected. March 22, 2010 dreamed about printing out new articles by Nigel Thrift (at least that's one dream that I can make a reality). March 3, 2010 thinks a toilet in a lecture hall is a really bad idea (but in my dream it seemed perfectly logical ... though not without its perils). February 1, 2010 mild anxiety dreams about teaching in a large lecture hall (with a second room in its back with a low ceiling, and vacuum tubes through which students could send me questions), a faulty sound system, and I kept dropping my bag in the snow ... must be Monday January 22, 2010 Despite what a dreamt-up Carol Stabile says (at a dreamt-up post-conference big table dinner), I do know the meaning of 'sinewy.' January 9, 2010 just awoke from a dream where J, K, & I were in Kansas City (where we've never been before), and, in the dream, I was trying to locate the one person I knew (former student) who lived in KC. Woke up (irl) to find him requesting me on LinkedIn. Weird, hair-raisingly weird. I now can control the future. Requests? Eagles fans? December 26, 2009 wrote a Tejano/Tex-Mex style song in my sleep with the chorus: 'take the border / past the wasteland.' I forget the rest. But it was great, and I was singing it as I ran to catch a bus to upstate NY in my dream. December 23, 2009 dreamt that I was being chased around a public restroom by some very drunk and derelict guy who decided he really wanted to pee on me. December 17, 2009 dreamt I was standing in line to buy a steamboat ticket to "Loseberg." It was my brother Alan's fault -- I wanted to go by boat to "J-Ville" and he got in the wrong line. But still. This doesn't even rise to the level of dream analysis. Buying a ticket for a slow boat ride to loser town... seriously. October 9, 2009 dreamt of unloading rolled-up rubber cars off of the back of a tractor-trailer with a rake while having a [surprisingy civil] conversation with Rush Limbaugh (who might also have been my father) about this guy who just won the Nobel Peace Prize ... though my dream-self did not yet know of the Nobel honor of course. September 22, 2009 dreamt I was teaching 'theories of affect' at my high school to a class of older non-traditional students. They complained that the reading was hard and stupid. They wanted to dance. One got naked. It was a scene. September 18, 2009 dreamt of Zurich. The conference site had unusual furniture (table tops not affixed to their bases, flimsy bookshelves) and all oddly arranged. And I kept bumping into things, knocking stuff over. I didn't have a room and Charley & Gil were there (but didn't tell me -- the bastards). August 14, 2009 dreamt I was at a little nyc restaurant where, after your meal, you could walk to a small card table run by a fringe Catholic group and buy small tiles depicting religious figures from other faith traditions and have them blasted (with what looked like a salad shooter) with whey, thus counteracting their powers -- someone was having Shiva and Buddha whey-blasted... August 2, 2009 dreamt of a Transformers movie premiere (having never seen the movies) where the Transformers save the world and simultaneously deliver pithy, elliptical music reviews. Greil Marcus got angry with me when I said that they were clearly ripping him off. July 3, 2009 dreamed a dream of downtown Pittsburgh (now) and North Queen Street (15 yrs ago) in a mash-up, including a debate over the distinctions w/in & between punk and hardcore following a show by a Philly inter-racial, mostly female leftist band called 'FlopHous June 17, 2009 dreamt of drinking beer in a bookstore. Distinctly recall looking at a repackaged Durkheim collection, a hardcover from James Clifford, & a kids' camo-survivalist backpack designed by Iain Chambers (wha? but it was 20% off). June 3, 2009 did not dream of snakes but of golf (and I haven't golfed in over 25 years). The trick was that I had to put my golf tee directly into books or between stacks of books, and I couldn't bring myself to actually swing. May 30, 2009 dreamt of a great ice cream parlor in some sketchy, hillbilly corner of York but I could not read their board-menu, and they yelled at me ... later I was able to convert $60 Canadian into $50 US which made me strangely delighted May 23, 2009 dreamt that Jackie, upset by a fighting couple at the front of the bus, decided to walk the rest of the way home. RZA did too. May 15, 2009 dreamed Foucault said that the answers I want would be found more in science than the discourses of history, but I forgot the question. Damn dream-Foucault should always restate the question in the answer. April 13, 2009 's flying dreams almost always take place in behemoth hotels, cruising along alabaster ceilings. I blame Christopher Walken. March 27, 2009 fell asleep on the sofa, thus very weird dreams. Fragments: a demolished garbage truck, smell of flowers at a wedding rehearsal, handing Alan Rickman a chair, & an equation that woke me up - 'what is 40 x Lebanon?' March 21, 2009 dreamt of the First Lady. Let's, ah, leave it at that. March 12, 2009 's dream last night: all-night rave outside student center, finding stack of $20 bills in drain, Quincy Jones shows up to use the photocopier. March 2, 2009 dreamt of teasing a crocodile with a plastic leg bone. Later (same dream), I made felt clothes for a small plastic crocodile. February 2, 2009 dreamed of being a superhero (never before -- well, except for unremarkable flying dreams), but a failed one. Constantly beat up. January 11, 2009 dreamt of directing a play with Lancaster's homeless + CarrieLynn Reinhard (who was a complete diva I must say). December 29, 2008 awoke from a dream where I was bungee strapping Arnold Schwarzenegger's moped to the back of our car. No clue. December 21, 2008 dreamt of different variants of pragmatism (not unrelated: I didn't know Bérubé was blogging again). December 8, 2008 dreamt that Mel and Gil were doing the dishes together & laughing (about me, I think. Hey, no fair. What's so funny?). October 14, 2008 dreamt of the number 708. Use it as you will. August 12, 2008 's 47th dream: Alan driving fast, me hanging on, he says: "Go ahead, I will meet you at the top of the dirt hill," & the highway is filled w/ concrete penguins. June 15, 2008 dreamed of David Hasselhoff. What? (At least I think it was a dream.) May 19, 2008 has napped two consecutive days and dreamt of bath towels. This has to be an omen, but of what? April 17, 2008 had a dream where zombies were stealing kitschy lawn ornaments. March 8, 2008 dreamed the stack of essays was done. It was a nice dream, though utterly false. January 24, 2008 dreamed that Gil came for a visit (I'm not sure why but it was a nice dream). December 30, 2007 dreams vividly, especially when writing (usually about walking on his hands) but last night riding a bike and baby groundhogs, everywhere.   jQuery(window).resize(function(){ jQuery(".skippr>div").css("min-height",(jQuery(window).width()/2.25)); });